The Stubborn Optimist 02: Optimistic about ageing?
The joy of becoming
Dear Friend,
Today is my 32nd birthday and I’ve been thinking of the nuances of ageing. How optimism can fill in the spaces between definition.
I’ve been thinking of how, as young children, our name and age exist as our whole identity. Which is probably why we feel compelled to write it on everything we see. Then, as we grow, we attach new things to ourselves, our favourite colour, our love of pandas, or fairies, or tractors. And then it develops a bit further, as teenagers we often pick a tribe to be part of, one which often coincides with the music we’ve been swept up by. We try to fit ourselves into the mould of a goth or a raver, a girly-girl or a nerd.
Then once we have more agency over our lives, our choices start to define us. Remember how important the A Level subjects we were taking were? Remember how our degrees became (for a time) our identities? And then as adults our jobs and our families exist almost as a shorthand for who we are - if we’re lucky we can sneak in a hobby as well, maybe a sports team?
But we are all more than these narrow definitions. We can be many overlapping things at once. A goth and a girly-girl. With a fascination for tractors and fairies. A mother and a musician. With a degree in chemistry and a love of foxgloves and Japanese cinema and Everton FC. Ok now I’m just creating a person (I think she’s called Lilian if you’re interested). But you see what I mean.
In that sense ageing is a way of accumulating these various ‘and’ identities, these patches of self that we use to connect with other people. Each year we exist we get to redefine ourselves by finding more things to love and feel passionate about.
We are multiplicitous.
I am optimistic about ageing because I am undefinable, as we all are. With each new year I get more time, precious time, to find the things that light me up. And I get to attach each of them like a talisman to the concept of ‘me’.
Going into the new year, one which will start with a shroud of darkness, I am also reminding myself of the value of mid-winter celebrations. For me that includes my birthday but for millennia people have found reason to gather in the darkest days.
This design by John Bauer is of St. Lucia. Before the Gregorian calendar, the night of St. Lucia was the longest night of the year. The Winter Solstice has long been observed in the Nordic countries (where Bauer was from) with bonfires to ward off evil spirits. This evolved with Christianity (circa 1000) to a commemoration of St. Lucia. I’m interested in the ways we, a millenia later, also ward off the darkness with the light of bonfires, feasts, and gatherings. What are your rituals for getting through the darkest days?
Tapping into long-held traditions helps us to connect with the natural cycles around us. Through them, I think, we can find the strength to keep going through difficult times.
Onto the smörgåsbord of optimism this time:
Big Reasons
I recently finished reading Britney Spears’ autobiography, The Woman In Me. It is everything you’d expect it to be, with horrifying details about her father, her former partners, and the paparazzi. But it is also a testament to the power of people. It was Britney’s fans who noticed things were off with her. They deduced the level of lockdown she was living under. And it was a groundswell of people motivated purely by love for a woman they didn’t know - who helped her to regain her freedom. It is also gratifying that she truly feels that freedom now. She is able to exist in the way she wants to, unbidden by celebrity culture, capitalist calls for new music, and the desires of the wider world. She is living her life for herself now and that’s surely a cause for celebration.
This heartening read from Dr. Kate Marvel, a climate scientist talking about how the tide is turning for climate action. It can so often feel that no matter what is said about climate change, everything stays the same. But as Dr Kate draws out in this uplifting piece things are changing. People are amending their habits, governments are passing great laws, momentum is shifting. Doom-saying will do nothing but depress us. Amplifying the positive action where it is taking place, and believing that if we come together we can make a real difference - that’s the key to our future.
Small Reasons
Kenya declared a public holiday (Nov 13th) for tree-planting across the nation. It is part of a plan to plant 15 billion trees by 2032.
Dolly Parton and Patti LaBelle joyfully creating a unique beat for the song ‘Shortnin’ Bread’
The Comedy Wildlife Photography Prize announced their finalists this month. This is my favourite but you can see all the finalists here.
The Happy Turtle by Tzahi Finkelstein Richard Ayoade breaking character in this unaired clip from Travel Man with Bob Mortimer makes me cry with laughter.
Everything about Andre 3000’s new Jazz-flute album. It’s such a sign of bravery and confidence to come out with something so unexpected. Everything I’ve heard him say about it radiates joy and love for creation and discovery.
The Blogotheque has this wonderful series called ‘One to One’ where they host gigs between an artist and one audience member. The audience member doesn’t know who they will be seeing and the song they perform is a complete surprise. This is my favourite one (make sure you’re watching at 5:11):
I haven’t got around to creating a spotify account and figuring out the playlists but I promise it’ll be a new year’s gift to you. In the meantime here’s a few songs that have been soundtracking my practise of finding joy:
‘Steal The Show' (From “Elemental”) by Lauv - if you haven’t watched the delightful Disney movie Elemental from which this song comes you absolutely should, it’s very heartwarming (pun intended).
‘The Hedgehog’s Song’ by The Incredible String Band - a compilation of pure silliness and musical talent!
‘I Love You’ by East of Underground - in the 1970s the US Army’s Entertainment Division set up a musical competition in their German bases as a way of boosting the ever-plummeting morale. Seven multi-instrumentalists came together to form East of Underground and produced one self-titled album (the prize of the competition). The songs are incredible and feel like a magical gift as the group were only together for the formation of the album and then disappeared back into their individual lives. This is my favourite of their songs.
“7711” by Felix Ames - a funky soulful and refreshingly honest song about overcoming our own demons.
“Drive” by Incubus - without doubt one of my favourite songs and a great reminder that we are behind the driving wheel for our own lives.
“The Time of Your Life” by Randy Newman - honestly, try and have a bad day after listening to this song, it’s not possible.
Thank you so much for reading. As I write this I’m wishing you and yours a light filled end to this year. I’m excited to practise optimism with you in 2024 and for that to spur us towards a better, more peaceful world.
With optimism,
Catherine
P.S. If you have a spare moment over betwixt-mas please do think about sending your MP a quick message to ask what they are doing to secure peace in Gaza. They have more power than they believe and we must encourage them to use it.
As always, a delight to read. Happy Birthday you glorious human!!